


Let's Try This Again, Without the Oops

by Yatzuaka



Series: Darcy Lewis Can't Win - or - Adventures in Vacationing with Literal Aliens [2]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: (best tag ever), F/M, Some Humor, The swears, some explicit content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-06-18 08:59:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15482289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatzuaka/pseuds/Yatzuaka
Summary: For the "Cool for the Summer" Darcyland event:Thor invites Darcy along on a trip to a Tropical Paradise. Darcy agrees despite her misgivings. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. Hot Town, Summer in the City

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: these chapters are going to be short, mostly because I decided (read: [Whyndancer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyndancer/pseuds/Whyndancer) gently convinced me [seriously, go give her fics some love]) to participate at the last minute (of course), and also, just because that is what I am capable of at the moment. 
> 
> So without further ado, join me as I figure out new and glorious ways of torturing my favorite characters :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 1: Tropical Island  
> Darcy makes an assumption, and we all know that makes an ass out of you and 'mption.

Winter had been especially rough that year. Snowpocalypse had come blasting through New York, stripping away any pretence of civility and order. Darcy had pretty much hated waking up and facing the prospect of going outside every single day for a solid 30 day period. It wasn't with a fiery passion, she had been far too cold for that - no, it was better described as more of a miserable, draining sort of all-encompassing loathing. She and snow had had somewhat of an adversarial relationship since Thanksgiving, when it had tried to kill her. This was a resentment which time and proximity couldn't cure her of, Darcy was quite certain.

It wasn't all doom and gloom, though. There was quite a lot Darcy ended up liking about her new job, and she'd hardly had the opportunity to miss Jane. Being roommates again wasn't even close to terrible, and had the benefit that she could still make sure Jane was appropriately fed and watered when she was home. (That it was one of the places Loki was allowed to go, because of the frequent presence of his brother was definitely a bonus.) Mostly it was the asbestos, or lack thereof that had been the deciding factor, and she had yet to regret it.

Jane and Thor were also still feeling guilty about the whole "leaving her to die in the snow because they were too busy boning" thing, so that was nice. Darcy was very much not above guilt tripping them into doing extra chores or picking up the tab for food and drinks.

When spring thawed out the ground and melted the last of any lingering gray sludge, Darcy rejoiced and bade snow a hearty fuck off. Then summer hit, and it was disgustingly hot. She was constantly at least slightly sweaty, humidity like a cloak she couldn't shrug off. Everyone but her, it seemed, was utterly miserable. She was mostly just glad there was no danger of her succumbing to hypothermia.

Sudden fondness for the season aside, several months of grossly hot weather loomed ahead. She wanted out of the city, like everyone and their mother, but she hadn't planned for the expenditure, and going away didn't seem to be in the cards. That's probably why she'd given in so easily when Thor had offered up a trip to a so-called Tropical Paradise. Darcy blithely ignored the little voice in her head that screeched an incoherent warning. Besides, some other idiotically naive corner of her brain insisted, it couldn't possibly be as bad as [ That Time ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12559596). (And also, that if it turned out to be a sex-cation, it wouldn't be close to awful. She totally had someone to do that with now.)

The thing with Loki had been going on in fits and starts; he was busy with his "Look at me, I'm totally reformed" project, and she was busy trying to get her feet under her in the world of not being Jane's underling. What moments alone they were able to steal, were spent exploring their physical connection, rather than getting to know each other. She hoped that this trip would allow them time to do just that. (And the other thing - she was definitely also looking forward to more sex. With Loki. The dude was truly exceptional at listening and applying what he'd learned.)

It was only when she was packing as little actual clothing as possible (she had dropped an obscene amount of money on new swimwear, and those bits of fabric were so small they could hardly be considered "clothing") that it occurred to her that maybe asking exactly where they were going was a good idea. Jane wasn't yet back from the lab, and Thor hardly ever answered his phone. Actually, Thor was exceptionally hard on technology in general and had probably broken his latest cell for the millionth time, so she tapped out a quick message to Loki inquiring as to whether he had any clue about their final destination.

> _He's been remarkably tight-lipped about the whole thing, which hardly bodes well. Still, I am very much looking forward to having the opportunity to spend time with you. It's seems like forever since we have been alone._

His reply made Darcy grin maniacally and put a pillow over her face so she could scream a little.

The warning bells in her head kept ringing, but she ignored them. The visions of palm trees swaying over white, sandy beaches and quaffing frozen, tropical drinks dancing in her head were far too beguiling. And also because she was 90% sure that they'd be going to Tony Stark's Private Tropical Island Retreat in [redacted]. She'd come to this conclusion logically, because:

  1. Who else did Thor know with a house in a place one could conceivably call a "Tropical Paradise"
  2. Who else could Thor even ask that of
  3. Who else wouldn't care when Thor inevitably broke something fragile, important and expensive



While one could say what they wanted about the Stark himself being assy, he had impeccable taste in real estate and he didn't mind sharing it with his team. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much more amused by the title after I accidentally posted this last Sunday.


	2. Get in Losers, We're Going to [Redacted]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 2: Interdimensional summer
> 
> Or: Darcy Lewis is hopelessly optimistic.

This time, Darcy continued to convince herself, it would be different. There apparently weren't meals to worry about preparing, which meant no groceries to pack and haul halfway across the country. There were no coats, scarves, gloves or hats to keep track of. No snow to not die in. It was going to be awesome. Period, end of story. Other options were unacceptable.

The fact that Thor had apparently even kept the location a secret from Jane was no matter. It. Was. Going. To. Be. Great.

She and Jane considered taking a train out of the city, but they ended up getting Jane's old clunker out of the garage and driving it just because they could. That it didn't have air conditioning was hardly problem. Not when the windows still rolled down, and it had a sweet tape player with a collection of 80s and 90s music, kept in a shoebox covered in "Save the Whales" and "Astronomers do it better" stickers under the front seat. It was nothing short of a miracle that they still played.

So there they were, bags in hand, after fighting the brutal traffic out of New York, only mildly regretting the decision to drive. Darcy wasn't even surprised that they ended up at the Upstate Avengers Facility, parking in the employee parking lot. It was more confirmation of her suspicion that they'd be off to Tony Stark's Tropical Private Island in [redacted].

Just to make sure, for the fifth time, that she hadn't forgotten her passport, Darcy patted the outside pocket on her bag, relieved when she felt the familiar flimsy, square booklet that allowed for international travel.

She'd been on plenty of airplanes before, but the thought that she'd be flying on a private jet, (or better yet, one of those cool quinjet things,) was pretty thrilling.

"Are you sure this is where we're supposed to meet them?" Darcy asked Jane, for the third time.

They'd been waiting for 15 minutes, and while it was much less humid and hot away from the concrete jungle, the sun was still beating down with ferocious intensity. There was a perfectly good lobby not too far away, presumably with air conditioning, and yet they were waiting in a grassy field. A bench would have been nice, but in lieu of that, popping a squat wasn't a terrible alternative.

"Yes, Darcy," Jane sighed, for the third time, joining her on the ground.

Honestly, if annoying her friends was wrong, Darcy didn't ever want to be right. Tugging her baseball cap down to better shade her face, she started a mental count down to the next time she'd ask.

Just as Darcy was gearing up to ask for the fourth time, Thor and Loki made their grand entrance. Grand entrance, of course meant that they wandered up, swaggering like supermodels, seemingly out of nowhere. Thor had a backpack strapped securely to his back, and Loki had a nice leather duffel slung crosswise over his chest. They were dressed casually, for them, and both looked like they had just come back from a salon, hair flowing in the breeze. Darcy seethed with jealousy, as her own hair had frizzed up in the humidity, and there was fuck-all she could do about it.

Thor and Jane greeted each other like long lost lovers, while Darcy and Loki tried to politely ignore the display of tongues dueling and groping. Smiling, Loki reached a hand down and helped her up, and despite having seen him not too long ago completely naked, the way he looked at her made her blush and giggle, much to her own horror.

Loki smile transformed into a mischievous grin, like he knew exactly what she was thinking, hands sketching graceful arcs in the air, _Lovely to see you, Darcy._

Watching him sign her name did something to her insides, twisted them up and smoothed them out all at the same time. The dude was lethal to her self control.

"You, too," Darcy responded, going up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"Now then, are we ready for fun?" Thor bellowed, having disengaged from Jane while Darcy was busy melting in her panties.

"Lead the way, big guy," Darcy said, grabbing her bag, while Thor reached for Jane's.

Thor closed his eyes, and tilted his head back, "Heimdall, if you please?"

Darcy glanced at Loki, who had a horrified expression on his face, as if he'd just come to an awful realization, but there wasn't time to probe for answers.

They were sucked up in font of light and color Darcy had no reference for. It took an entire lifetime, but somehow in the next breath they were standing near a dock, under a completely unfamiliar sky. A huge freaking _planet_ hovered up there, nearly translucent behind fluffy white clouds, so disorienting and weird that her stomach somersaulted.

First, she was going to toss her cookies behind that spiky looking bush, and then she was going to yell at Thor until her throat bled.


	3. "It's Only a Flesh Wound"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 3: Stay-cation
> 
> Darcy might've chosen poorly.
> 
> (This one fits the theme in the barest, "squint at it and tilt your head" sense.)

"Welcome to Alfheim!" Thor thundered as Darcy dove for the bush. She was a firm believer in keeping what few mysteries she had alive.

Meanwhile, Loki arms had shot to his sides, fists clenching over a pair of pointy daggers, and _he_ dove as well, albeit for Thor. That part, Darcy had missed in her hasty retreat. The screaming, on the other hand... A bit worrisome.

With her lunch officially lost (and really, someday when she wrote her memoir, she'd be skipping the part about vomiting being the first thing she did when she finally got to go to another planet), she eyed the scene before her.

Jane had tied her shirt around Thor's arm, which was now spotted with blood, and there was a dagger lying in the burnt grass next to him. Loki had wandered off, down to the pier at the waterfront. Darcy sighed heavily. There was already trouble in paradise, and she wondered if a staying in New York wouldn't have been better. She couldn't even yell at Thor, not since he was apparently injured, even if he was patting Jane and assuring her that everything was fine, it hardly hurt at all and that he was used to it.

"'Tis but a scratch!" he finally exclaimed with a perfectly straight face, unwinding the shirt from his impressive bicep, to reveal a cut that didn't look like more than a thin pink line. "He could have _really_ stabbed me in any number of _really_ painful places, and he didn't. Don't be mad, Jane. It's my fault for not considering," he said, but the rest of the words were picked up and carried away by the wind and were inaudible. Thor stroked his thumb across Jane's cheek, an intense expression on his face.

This was awkward. (The longing for home intensified, and _it wasn't supposed to be like this_! She should be enjoying herself! She should be sipping a frozen rum-drink and frolicking in turquoise waters! She should not be pining for the Big Apple, thinking about how nice a stay-cation would have been.)

Unsure about interrupting the couple while they were occupied with whatever that face touching thing was, Darcy grabbed her abandoned bag, and half-jogged the short distance to Loki. Something had upset him, and she wanted to see if there was anything she could do for him.

He glared at the view, shoulders hunched, twisting the twin to the dagger in the grass next to Thor around in complicated patterns. He didn't seem to notice her approach, so she tapped his tensed shoulder, "Can I do anything?"

Loki shook his head, continuing to stare outwards, and now that she wasn't retching she noticed that their surroundings were quite lovely. It really was too bad about the drama. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

Eventually, he shook his head again, fingers swooping through a sharp _Sorry_.

Darcy thought of her apartment back in New York, with the window-mounted air conditioner that rattled her bedroom wall and the TV with the million channels, and tried to find a small bit of the enthusiasm she'd felt this morning. 

A breeze rustled through the palm trees, and the unreal blue of the water rippled softly, lapping at the sand on the shore, and bumping a pair of weird looking boats against the dock. 

 _We used to come here as a family_ , Loki signed hesitantly, and Darcy almost missed it, lulled by the softness of the warm wind. _I didn't enjoy it_. 

His face was like marble when he finally turned to Darcy, and something in her chest ached at the sight of it. Knowing what she knew about Loki's family situation, which granted wasn't much, she could guess at how much of an understatement that was. 

"I'm going to hug you now, if that's ok," Darcy said quietly. 

This time Loki didn't shake his head, instead nodding just once, a quick dip of the head. There was a moment where Darcy wondered what had happened to the dagger, but it didn't matter in the long run. When her arms were securely wrapped around his waist, and she was pressed securely into his side, Loki took a deep breath. Darcy could feel the tension slowly seep away. 

"I should have warned you about my plans, Brother," Thor said from behind them, "I am sorry."

Loki hold on Darcy tightened, and nodded again. 

Thor continued, sheepishly, "And, we may have missed our window of opportunity today as far as the next leg on our journey is concerned. I mistimed our arrival by several hours, unfortunately."

Loki sighed heavily enough to stir the ponytail that poked out of the back of Darcy's baseball cap, and after letting go of her, turned to glare icily at Thor. Loki's hands were already stabbing through the air with such a swift ferocity that even Darcy, who was fairly proficient in ASL, had trouble following. Thor, who had embraced the learning of sign language enthusiastically, though enthusiasm didn't equal competency in his case, squinted as he tried gamely to follow Loki's tirade. However little of the flow Darcy understood, two of the gestures Loki used made Darcy screech in outrage. 

She turned to Thor, nearly vibrating in anger, earlier hesitations about reading the blond the riot act gone.  "Shrieking eels, Thor? Shrieking!? Eels!?"


	4. I Hate Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 4: Camping Trip
> 
> Just kill her now.

Thor had spent the last five minutes trying to explain both how very dangerous, yet not dangerous the shrieking eels were and Darcy wondered how she'd been bamboozled into coming on this trip in the first place. She should have known. In all honesty she had known, she'd simply ignored it in favor of highly unlikely daydreams. 

"I comprehend the words that you are speaking, but my understanding of them must be wrong. Did you just say we're camping here, because of _shrieking eels_? And you brought us here, to this godforsaken place, for a good time? Are you insane?"

Darcy took a deep breath and thought calming, happy thoughts for all of 30 seconds, before she continued, nearly compulsively, "Also, camping. I feel like it can't be overstated that I did not sign up for CAMPING. Thor. I could live without Wi-Fi, but I draw the line at being without a bathroom. I love you, big guy, I really do, but you make it super hard to remember why sometimes."

Thor looked like a shaggy Golden Retriever who had just been told no more walkies ever, but Darcy refused to feel bad.

"Come, brother, let us hunt! There's less than an hour of daylight left," Thor said loudly a few moments later, apparently forgetting about that guilt he'd felt so very briefly. He threw the forgotten dagger neatly at Loki's feet. There was a hollow thunk as it buried itself in the bleached wood of the dock, and Thor grinned hugely. Darcy suddenly understood the desire to stab Thor on a deep and emotional level.

Loki looked as delighted by the prospect of hunting as Darcy felt at the prospect of seeing an animal being field-dressed, which was to say, not at all. 

Picking up the knife, Loki secreted it away so quickly Darcy couldn't track the motion, and visibly steeled himself. With the thinnest of pained smiles, he gestured to the pair of boats. _There should be supplies in a trunk_ , he signed, _Can you and Jane retrieve them?_

Holy prehistoric gender roles, Batman. They really, truly were going to LARP Hunters and Gatherers. The day just got better and better.

Jane had carefully packed her bloody button-down shirt away, and stood next to their meager amount of luggage in a worn out tank top and cutoffs. She looked entirely too cute for the situation, while Darcy's own outfit had started the day off being an adorable sun-dress and cute Converse, completely appropriate for air travel, had ended up being somewhat of a mistake. 

"I feel like I was baited and switched. Can I speak to a manager?" Darcy asked no one in particular, channeling a million soccer moms who had gotten their order wrong at Starbucks. 

"Come on, Darcy, no point in kvetching about things we can't change. Let's hop to it," Jane said, a mite too enthusiastically for Darcy's personal taste. 

There weren't any tents in the trunks, but there were a couple of tightly rolled blankets and a few packages tucked underneath that appeared to contain some sort of dried vegetables and water. Jane tossed a flask she'd found in her trunk at Darcy, and a quick sniff confirmed that it was filled with sweet, sweet alcohol. The day was looking up. Darcy lifted the flask at Jane, "Cheers," before taking a swig. 

"Darcy, you should probably put some more sunscreen on, your shoulders are looking a little red." 

Darcy burned in the sun, while Jane just turned evermore golden, which was just one more indignity, really. She sighed and rubbed herself with lotion from the brand new tube of SPF 100 she'd bought specifically for this trip, though she'd been assuming that she would be protecting herself from the harsh rays of wherever [redacted] was, and not ... Anti-Risa.

"Are there even UV rays to worry about here?" Darcy mused as they surveyed the pile the supplies made, which of course Jane took as an invitation to wax poetic about probabilities and likelihoods and all sorts of stuff Darcy couldn't have cared less about. That said, her chatter was familiar, and thus rather comforting, so Darcy didn't complain, just let the noise wash over her, while they gathered sticks and broken tree limbs. Everything seemed slightly damp, whether from the humidity or rain, Darcy didn't know. She glanced up at the sky, relieved that it seemed clear.

"I found some fishing supplies earlier," Jane said, suddenly, apropos nothing she'd been droning on about. "Let's see if we can catch anything before the sun goes down and the, uh, eels come out. You know, just in case the guys don't have any luck with..." She waved her hand at the trees to their back. 

"Oh, yes, let's spend more time next to the water," Darcy said, sarcastically. 

It was actually not terrible, sitting on the dock, feet very definitely not trailing in the pretty blue water, tugging a fishing line and taking small nips from the flask they passed back and forth. 

"How did I not know you were such a badass nature person?" Darcy asked sometime later, as she watched Jane deftly remove the hook from her third fish's mouth. Darcy had only caught a very small one, but their combined catch seemed like any old fish, i.e., not weirdly alien. 

"It's not something that has come up, I guess. Anyway, looks like the sun is setting quickly, let's go back and see if we can start a fire," Jane said as she strung the fish together, rather competently, in Darcy's opinion.

"You are the strangest thing, Jane. You cannot even boil water, but you can fish and lay a fire." Just when she thought she knew someone...

"I contain multitudes, Darce. Come on, I'm going to show you how to clean and gut a fish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waa I ran out of time


	5. I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 5: Cocktails
> 
> More accurately, the journey to get to cocktails.

The shrieking eels turned out to be very aptly named, and started their enthusiastic screaming shortly after the sun had gone down. Thor's assurances of safety rang somewhat hollow when faced with the cacophony of these as yet unseen beasts. Thankfully, the brothers had returned empty-handed just before the sun had made it's final descent, and their looks of astonishment at their (well, really _Jane's_ ) competency were well-worth both the effort and the discomfort of having fish scales in her hair. 

It was only by the grace of the tasty liquor she and Jane had enjoyed throughout the afternoon that Darcy eventually succumbed to sleep. And sleep she did, a deep and heavy sleep that had her stretching and blinking owlishly in the bright light of morning. 

A moment later she realized that they were neither in Kansas, nor at their makeshift camp ground. She and Loki were in a boat, speeding atop crystalline blue water, darting between sandy islands barely big enough for the thin palm trees that grew on them. It was exhilarating, but also very much not what she had expected to wake up to. There were matters she'd have liked to attend to, like brushing her teeth and possibly her hair, and, oh yeah, peeing would have been great. 

Actually, that last one couldn't wait much longer. Darcy crossed her legs and thought the driest thoughts she could, considering where she was.

"Uhm," she finally said and gave a little wave, just to make sure tall, dark and silent noticed. "Hi, good morning, can't help but notice we're on a boat."

Loki's smiles were more frequent than they had been when they'd first met and mutually loathed each other, and this one in particular was spectacular. He mouthed a good morning, as his hands were busy stroking what Darcy assumed was a steering mechanism. It was absurd how hot he looked doing that, completely and utterly absurd, but she could let that distract her from what was quickly becoming a big problem. 

There was no sense in being coy, mostly because she really had to go, and being delicate about things rarely led to quick results. "I need to pee," Darcy said, decisively. 

He arched an eyebrow and opened his mouth in an _ah_. In short order they were dipping into the sea, and landing on one of those sandy, little islands she'd admired. Purse in hand, she scrambled out of the boat, and did her business behind the outcropping of trees. Thankfully, she always had napkins and hand sanitizer in her purse. There was much less scrambling getting back _in_ the boat. 

There were dark clouds behind them, a low and threatening rumble occasionally breaking the relative quiet of the day. Loki assured Darcy that if they kept their present speed and didn't make other stops they should make it to the Summer Palace before the rains started in earnest. Which it turned out, was the reason she'd woken up on the boat.

 _We couldn't wait for another three or four rounds of "five more minutes" if we were to get ahead of the weather_ , Loki smirked as he signed quickly.

"So, Summer Palace, eh? That sounds pretty sweet. Do you have your own tower, or like wing?"

Loki shook his head, wrinkling his face as he worked out how to try to say _It's not that kind of palace_ , one handed. 

That was low-hanging fruit right there, but she was nonetheless proud that she did not rise to the bait. "How about I drive? Or, is that against some sort of rule?" she added when she saw the incredulous look on Loki's face. 

He shook his head, but rolled his eyes meaningfully at the storm that was edging ever closer. 

"Fair enough," Darcy agreed amicably. 

It was impossible to get bored in the few hours it took to travel, even if it was hard to make meaningful conversation with Loki's hands mostly occupied steering the boat. For one thing, they were going much faster than when they had started. The rain was so close now that the morning was noticeably cooler and there was a smell like ozone lingering in the air. 

They did not, in fact, make it to the Summer Palace (that wasn't that "kind of palace") before it started raining. It was hardly a tragedy, though, since it meant that they weren't trying to go as fast anymore and Loki's reason for not giving her a turn at the ... (whatever that weirdly phallic golden rod thing was that controlled the speed and direction of the boat) steering mechanism was at that very moment falling on their heads. 

It was exhilarating for a lot of reasons, not least because they were pressed very closely. She realized that she didn't have to wait for them to be alone, because they _were_ alone. 

They didn't make it to the Summer Palace until after it stopped raining, point of fact, and after a long bath, they joined Thor and Jane on a terrace for drinks and a lovely lunch Darcy didn't have to prepare. Sipping the unfamiliar frosty, fruity concoction, while she leaned against a railing and looked out at a very tropical paradise, she decided that things were very definitely looking up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just under the wire with this one.


	6. To Err is Human, to Nap is Divine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 6: Napping under the sun  
> 

There weren't any crenalated walls or towers or even the most basic of drawbridges Darcy associated with a palace, but it was nonetheless a grand old building that was unmistakably a Palace. On one hand Darcy rolled her eyes at Loki's "not that kind of palace" remark, and on the other... She still rolled her eyes. 

Darcy had overheard Jane talking to Thor about the things she'd found in his rooms; the well-worn toys, the too-small armor and wooden swords, the books that looked brand-new. She wondered what she'd find in Loki's rooms, but had yet to be invited to see them. She hadn't been invited to see anything at all except for what were apparently her own rooms, so far, and Darcy tried not to take that as a slight. They'd only just gotten here a few hours ago. 

With nothing planned, and no obligations to fulfill, a luxury Darcy could hardly remember, she changed into one of her bikinis and swanned out to her own personal terrace overlooking the ocean and stretched out under an shady overhang to read. Loki had gone off somewhere with Thor after their lunch, and Jane had pled being exhausted, so Darcy was officially alone for the first time in a long time. It shouldn't have been so wonderful, but sitting there, a salty breeze playing through her hair while she did nothing was as close to heaven as she could imagine. 

There wasn't even a real reason to stay awake. So she didn't. 

Napping was impossible in her real life. There was too much risk of not waking up in time to do the next thing, and there were the worries about not being able to sleep when she should be sleeping. Napping was listed in the column of "Nice in theory, but ultimately not worth it". 

This nap was lovely, free of risk and worry and so very worth it. Darcy woke some time later to the sound of Loki settling in the lounger next to hers, lethargic but strangely refreshed, and completely without guilt that she'd wasted her time. 

Loki's hand reached for hers and she smiled sleepily as their fingers twinned together. 

Bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this is except my dearest fantasy right now. Sorry it's a day late and hella short. Let's call it a pleasant interlude before I commence the torture.


	7. Sun's Out, Buns Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 7: Clothing optional  
> August 8: Sunburns  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, so funny story. It turns out leaving yourself post-it notes about a fic doesn't actually make said fic magically appear. Who knew?

He tugged her out of her lounger before she'd gotten her bearings, while her body still felt thick and clumsy with sleep. Darcy barely even had time to grab her flimsy wrap before they were speeding through the labyrinth that was the palace's hallways. She was quite certain that their route took them into parts that weren't necessarily meant for guests. There was a moment when she thought that maybe she'd stumbled upon a Harry Potter type situation, but their destination was definitely (thankfully) not a cupboard under the stairs that served as his bedroom. 

They had, however, ended up in a room with more boats than she could shake a stick at. This didn't exactly fill her with excitement, though she would admit to some amazement. _Rich people_ , she thought, as she stared at the enormous doors that apparently led outside, _had rooms for everything_.

"We just got here!" Darcy protested in advance of whatever nonsense Loki was sure to suggest. 

 _So?_ Loki shrugged.

"So maybe I want to relax and enjoy the palatial amenities before we go for another jaunt through eel-infested waters."

 _Come on_ , Loki wheedled, _let's go have some fun._

"Can we not have fun here?" she asked, incredulously. 

Loki shook his head while he put on his ridiculously effective sad puppy-dog face, _This is the place fun comes to die. Please?_

When he looked at her like that, eyes big and brimming with hope, she lost all common sense. He knew that, she knew that he knew that, but she was still powerless in the face of it. Which was how she ended up sitting next to what Loki called the tiller (but still reminded her of a golden dick) while they sped away from the palace towards a mountainous area in the distance. His hands guided hers, and alright, despite her initial misgivings, it _was_ fun. Loki sent them in a dive towards the water that made her whoop with the excitement that shivered up her spine. 

Up and down they went, going faster and faster until the little islands blurred around them. They stopped when the islands disappeared and the mountains that were their apparent destination loomed close enough to see the rocky face of a misty cliff across a clear expanse of crystal clear ocean. The view of waterfalls dripping silver into this little lagoon took her breath away. Then Loki dropped trou, and the view off of the bow was suddenly somewhat less interesting. 

With a practiced motion, Loki kicked at a latch to the left of the tiller with the bottom of his heel and dove cleanly into the water. Darcy sighed until her lungs practically collapsed, hardly noticing that a ladder dropped out from behind the boat with a clunk followed by a splash similar to the one Loki made. Seconds later Loki's head popped up from under the water. The way he grinned at her, the sheer wickedness he exuded almost tempted her to dive in after him, except not even seeing his naked, bone-white ass disappear into the sea below had made her forget about the shrieking eels. He waved, a clear invitation to join him.

"Fuck you, I'm not swimming with freaky eel monsters!" she shouted back.

Loki sliced easily through the water and climbed back up on the boat. She was pretty sure that she was one of the luckiest people alive, getting to see all _that_ up close and personal.

 _Come on, they're sleeping, so we're perfectly safe_ , he signed, followed by, _It's hot. Aren't you hot? Why are you wearing so many clothes?_

It must be noted that Darcy was wearing piece of chiffon and a string bikini of Brazilian origin, which was to say that it was brief. Small. It provided extremely minimal coverage. But there was no one around for miles, her boyfriend was superbly naked, and it occurred to her that she should be too. There wasn't a reason not to be. She was a confident, sexy woman. At least, that's what she told herself, hoping that she would one day reach that state. 

Darcy turned, let the breezy wrap float downwards, and swept her hair over her shoulder. Loki took the invitation and unknotted the ties around her neck and back, letting the scraps of fabric fall to the deck. Her bottoms were also cast carelessly aside. There was an urge to cover herself, but she didn't heed it, instead revelling in the way Loki simply looked at her. 

The moment was perfection, all sunshine and blue waters and green mountains and delicious naked, wet Loki. It was perfect all way up to the point after Loki had picked her up, but before he'd chucked her overboard. Screaming bloody murder, Darcy hit the water as she flailed uselessly, trying to forestall the inevitable impact. 

Her first thought wasn't that she should ascend to the surface, it was that she was going to fucking kill him, but then there was another splash, muffled under the water and just like that, he was there. Kicking hard, she slipped out of his reach, flipping her hair back when she reached the surface. She was a great swimmer, but it wasn't something that had come up in conversation. 

Loki was grinning when he joined her, and it kind of ticked her off, "Did you even know I could swim?" 

 _Of course_ , he signed, a confused expression on his face. _You have swim trophies in your room._  

"You're still a jerk," Darcy said, not voicing how it made her feel that he noticed things like that, how he paid attention to her and her things. 

Loki nodded, but under the waves, he stretched out his arms and tugged her close. Their kisses were salty, playful things that made her feel light and carefree. They broke apart, breathing heavily and looking at each other. It caught her by surprise, the swell of affection and the sense of contentment, and something else that felt far too serious for a day like that. Darcy splashed Loki in the face and darted away while he was sputtering. 

Everything was going swimmingly ( _ba-dum-tish!_ ) until Loki reminded Darcy to put on more sunscreen. Glancing down at herself after she'd clambered back up in the boat, she was grateful that he had, considering that previously unexposed parts of her body were turning bright pink. (She hoped her nipples didn't peel, because that would be tragic).

At some point in their journey to this, the most magically tropical paradise she could possibly imagine, the bag Loki had brought along had overturned and the contents had spilled. She spied the tube of lotion under the bench by the tiller, and was glad Loki had remained in the water and wouldn't see the weird contortions she made to reach it. 

The boat rocked strangely, nearly knocking Darcy on her ass, so she grabbed for the tiller to steady herself, not thinking about what the consequences of that would be.

Suddenly, the boat was in motion, flying at full speed towards the sheer cliff face that was now perilously close. Her brain ceased higher reasoning functions and she panicked. It made sense, in the moment, to just jump for it. 

Darcy hit the water hard enough to knock the wind out of her lungs, and for a disorienting moment she wasn't sure which way was up. She would be so pissed if this was how she died, but thankfully she'd always been excellent at floating and it wasn't long before she breached the surface. 

There - halfway up the cliff face was a smoldering, blackened smudge that had been their ride back to what wasn't _that kind of palace_. 

 _Well_ , Darcy thought a bit distantly, _fuck_. 


	8. Nothing like a day at the spa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 9: Spas are mandatory  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only over a month late, lolololol

If she hadn't started laughing, she would've broken down into tears, and that was just unacceptable. Every time the sooty stain on the rock face caught her eye, her level of amusement shot a little higher. It had started off as a startled giggle, then morphed into a rueful chortle and was now a full body, _slightly_ hysterical cackle.

So what, she'd blown up a boat? So fucking what they were on an alien planet and were who the fuck even knew how far away from civilization? Snow hadn't killed her. She'd be _damned_ if a tropical paradise would. 

"I will survive," she tried to sing, but sea water choked her, tempering the absurd hilarity of it all.

While her laughter and song was being interrupted by that untimely coughing fit, Loki had managed to make his way over to her. Relief and worry warred for dominance on his face, before he wrapped her up in his arms. He didn't need to sign _Are you ok_ \- it was there, in the way his eyebrows had been wrinkled together, in the tight hold on her. 

Darcy gathered the tattered remains of her sanity close, and by sheer force of will, swallowed her mirth. "I'm fine," she repeated a few times, convincing exactly no one. "Sorry about the, uh," she waved a hand expansively to indicate the entirety of the situation. 

Her lips quirked, and she huffed to stop the burbling, burning giggles from erupting again, hanging on tight to Loki, needing an anchor to reality. A few deep breaths later and she felt more or less under control. 

"Shall we?" Darcy asked, nodding in the direction of land. 

It wasn't a difficult swim; the sea barely rippled and Darcy didn't have to fight any currents, but -

God, her poor tits! Her poor everything, really. Cooked like lobster, her skin was practically a shiny, red carapace. Darcy knew the pain and agony portion of the program was imminent, but for the time being, a distant panic was keeping the worst of it at bay. Loki, too, was worse for wear, nose and shoulders pinked. She hadn't seen his hair look so mussed, ever. Including the morning after a night spent in a snow-hole.

"We don't even have a volleyball!" Darcy wailed, dropping to her knees in the wet sand. "Wilson!"

Less than amused, likely because he was a complete philistine, Loki looked on at her dramatic display, an eyebrow cocked. _Come on_ , he signed, _shade_.

He held out a hand, and she took it, allowing him to help her to her feet. Trudging into the dense thicket of trees, Darcy sighed. She was so thirsty, her feet kept finding pointy shit on the ground, and branches slapped her skin as she pushed through the vegetation. "I am never allowing you to pick another fun activity ever again. Just so we're clear."

He pressed a finger to his lips, tilting his head. _Water_. 

"Lead the way, dude."

Soon, Darcy could hear it, too, the sound of water rushing and falling, as beautiful as any sonata. "Thank fuck!" she exclaimed, energized by the thought of gulping cool liquid and washing the overwhelming taste of salt out of her mouth. 

Presently, they came to a waterfall, and Darcy didn't stop to pay attention to any of Loki's signs. She just rushed headlong into the crystal clear pool and rejoiced at the the feeling of not being covered in ocean and nature, and being able to wash the sand out of her asscrack.

"I forgive you," she said magnanimously, after spitting out a stream of water. _Real strength_ , she thought with a level of smugness that was was personally and emotionally satisfying after such a trying afternoon, _was forgiving someone who wasn't even sorry_.

 _You_ , he pointed severely at her, eyes dancing, _forgive me?_

"Yuppers!" There was sheer, manic glee in her voice as she splashed with abandon. 

Eventually, she exhausted herself and dragged herself out of the water to flop in an inelegant heap on the shore. Loki glanced her over, lips pursed thoughtfully. _Looks bad_ , he signed, gesturing at her body. 

Darcy knew what he was referring to, but didn't intend on allowing a precedent like that fly. She curled her hands into the soft ground and chucked the mass directly at his face. Darcy had horrible aim, so the chunk ended up landing on Loki's chest with a wet splat. And suddenly, just like that, an idea was born. 

When she'd imagined this vacation back in New York, she'd had the highest hopes for a day at the spa. Getting scrubbed and buffed till her skin was smooth and supple as an infants, being pampered and massaged, possibly, maybe even taking mud bath.

Well, it didn't qualify as a bath, strictly speaking, but she did end up getting covered in cool, sticky dirty mud. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This line:  
> " _Real strength_ , she thought with a level of smugness that was was personally and emotionally satisfying after such a trying afternoon, _was forgiving someone who wasn't even sorry._ " was inspired by this post on [tumblr](https://yatzuaka.tumblr.com/post/178144410502/stripperskywalker-x)


	9. The Results of Overexposure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 10: Blisters

So there they were, burnt skin and sun-crunchy hair covered in drying, flaking, itchy mud. 

The lateness of the hour, as indicated by the lengthening shadows and the inexorable dip of the sun, dashed any hopes of rescue that night, damned those Shrieking Eels. Loki cast another baleful look at Darcy in the dying light of the evening. Her stomach growled as she ignored, yet again, that glance of his. If she looked unrepentant, it was probably because she was unrepentant.

Mostly because their current situation was all Loki's fault... at least 90%... Well, 70% his fault, 15% whoever had built those fucking boats with such haphazard safety features, a _solid_ 10% Thor's fault for convincing her to go along on this vacation in the first place, and at the most 2.5% her own fault, after one accounted for the various other and sundry things that could conceivably be blamed. Her sunscreen, for example. 

"Oh, come on," Darcy whined, as she flicked a piece of mud off of her arm in his general direction, having felt the weight of his own misery pressing on her, "you had fun, too. I know you did."

They were naked. Stranded on an island. Darcy was of the firm opinion that they had bigger problems than a wasted half hour. 

Loki's eyes narrowed, _We should have been scouting for provisions_ , he signed pointedly with excruciating slowness, making sure each word was clearly understood. _Who knows how long it will take_ \- here he used an exaggerated sign for _Hair_ , instead of the _T_ and _Hammer_ combination that meant Thor, as he often did when complaining about his brother - _to realize we're gone._

Yawning hugely while she asked, "Can't we just look around now?" she made to get up, hoping that he wouldn't actually make her move.

There was a distant desire to dunk herself in the pool below the waterfall to wash the mud off, but she was bone-tired and it seemed like an awful lot of effort.

Thankfully, Loki shook his head, and she resumed flicking dried mud off her arm. 

He eyed her with a speculation that was unsettling. _Come on, we can't sleep like this._

After being thrown unceremoniously into the rapidly cooling water, Darcy was expected to climb an enormous tree. A feat she accomplished by entirely mysterious means - she's pretty sure she entered a fugue state, since she just found herself among branches and leaves at some undetermined point later, adrenaline shaking her extremities.

They attempted sleep on the waxy smoothness of a banana leaf, munching the not-even-close-to-ripe fruit in the crook of a tall tree overlooking the waterfall. All she had to do at that point was somehow ignore the fact that the ground was no longer a friend, but an enemy to actively avoid. Never a fan of heights, her attempts at rest proved mostly futile, but Loki's arm around her middle and his front pressed to her back was comforting enough that she nodded off several times.

The last time she woke up, so had the rest of the forest. The birds and bugs were starting to make noise, and the first tendrils of pink were stretching across a paling sky. If it hadn't been for, well everything else, it could have been a beautiful morning, but neither Loki nor Darcy would have characterized the previous night as particularly restful, and were less than enchanted. 

Thor's booming voice cut through the forest like a chainsaw. Darcy was mostly ecstatic to hear it, except for the whole nudity thing. 

"We're up here!" Darcy yelled, and seeing Thor's blond head down near the water's edge, followed it up with a, "Stay there!" 

It was much more difficult to get down from their tree than it had, presumably, been getting up the tree, but the loss of a few hanks of hair and the acrylic tips of her vacation manicure were worth it to be greeted with a soft robe and a flask of cool juice. 

"Oh, honey," Jane cooed as she wrapped Darcy in the light fabric, "can you please stop getting lost on our vacations?"

It was only when they were climbing on the boat that she had a terrible realization. Her nipples had blistered overnight, and even the robe of softness chafed painfully every time Darcy had the misfortune of shifting the wrong way - which coincidentally was every way. The boat ride back to the palace was pure torture. Loki held her hand, uncomplaining that she kept squeezing it every time the boat jostled them.

* * *

There were a variety of unfamiliar jar and tiny glass pots laid out in her room. She hoped that at least one of them contained whatever the Asgard equivalent of aloe was, but her first concern was definitely getting naked again. As Loki closed the door in Thor and Jane's faces, Darcy dropped the robe on the floor and stood there uncertain as to what she should do next. 

Darcy had a deep desire to be truly clean, a shower or a bath would be beyond fantastic, but the flesh was weak. With the very last of her energy she staggered towards the bed and flopped face first on the bed. Muffled by the sheets her attempts at asking for water were unsuccessful. Rolling her face to the side, the words evaporated at the sight of Loki's awkward, pained gait. He plucked one of the glass containers off of the table and collapsed on the bed next to her.  

After opening the jar, he left it on the mattress between them, signing, _I'll do you, if you do me._

Darcy couldn't help the smirk, "Deal." 

His fingers curled through cool ointment, the sudden chill spreading across her back drawing a sudden, relieved gasp from her. The abrupt absence of pain as he smoothed the lotion ever further made her moan repeatedly, until it was time to flip over to get her front. 

There was a long pause, and with what little energy Darcy had remaining she pushed herself up on her elbows, and glared at Loki. He had the strangest expression on his face, and for the life of her, she couldn't decipher it. His lips turned up in a wry smile as he stroked a finger down her nose. With excruciating slowness, he slid the ointment across the whorls of her ears, down her neck, across her collarbone.

Her nipples were throbbing, not just in pain, but in anticipation of relief. When his fingertips finally drifted across them, Darcy fell back on the mattress with a startled cry. Peering down her chest, she saw the almost instantaneous effect of the balm. Her nipples were normal looking again, pink and hard, but no longer puffy and blistered. 

She let her eyelids drift closed while he carefully tended to the rest of her, including the tops of her toes. The last thing he did was smear some of the stuff across her cracked lips. It tasted like nothing, weirdly, but left a feeling like she was breathing in camphor. With great reluctance, she dragged open her eyes and sat up all the way. 

 _My turn?_ Loki signed, a hopeful expression on his face.

"Your turn," she answered, holding out her hand for the half-empty jar. 

He was nearly already healed, a faded dusting of peach across his cheeks and nose. She nudged him to roll over on his stomach and tackled the broad expanse of flesh revealed. Pulling the towel he'd been given away from his hips, his round, delectable ass was bared for inspection. It was slightly worse for wear; a bright, deep pink. The lotion took care of it a little too quickly for Darcy's liking, but he was probably as uncomfortable as she had been, so she didn't spend extra time caressing it. 

He flipped over obligingly when she was done, and the state of his poor penis made her instantly sorry she hadn't started there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the prompt's fault, really. Attempts were made to go a different direction, but here we are anyway. 
> 
> Good news: mostly done with the other chapters and will be posting the next in about a week.


	10. Darling it's better, Down where it's wetter, Take it from me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 11: Aquatic life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Baths count, right?)
> 
> I feel I should warn you of the smut ahead, so consider yourself warned.

They fell asleep on their sides, facing each other, fingers tangled in the space between them. The pair slept like that for hours, through the midmorning thunderstorm, through Jane and Thor knocking on the door, and servants leaving trays of food on tables near the door. 

It was late afternoon when Darcy finally woke up, eyes crusty and mind muddled. She was filthy and grimy, and finally, thankfully, in a position to do something about it. Loki was nowhere to be seen, but his pillow was still faintly warm, leading her to believe that he hadn't been gone for long. With a groan of effort, she rolled out of the massive bed.

Loki strode out of what she'd assumed was the bathroom, a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. He dripped a bit of foam on the rug when he smiled at her, but neither rushed to clean it up. They stared at each other for a moment, before Darcy closed the distance between them, and pressed against him. She didn't mind that he was sticky and smelly, and not just because she was, too. He wrapped her up in his arms for a few moments, before they broke apart. 

His grin was different, softer somehow, as he lifted his hands, _I was coming to wake you. Shall we?_ He jerked his head towards another doorway in the bathroom, one she hadn't noticed. 

This bathroom was literally that, just a room with a tub, or rather, several enormous tubs. The one that captured her full attention, however, was the one overflowing with bubbles. She might have squealed a little - she definitely clapped her hands in sheer glee, but Loki was nice enough not to point any of that out. Practically dancing she crossed the room, and lowered herself in the hot, fragrant water while Loki finished brushing his teeth.

She made a noise that could only be described as pornographic as the water enveloped her tired and battered body.

 _Comfortable?_ Loki asked, as he drifted back into her field of view.

"Very," she said, stretching with a contented sigh. That she couldn't touch the edges of the tub with either the tips of her fingers or toes, was a luxury she could definitely get used to. "Join me?"

He nodded, and in a moment she felt the displacement raise the level of the water as he lowered himself into the tub opposite her. Once settled, he pulled her feet across his lap, and sighed in obvious pleasure. "I am not going to ask about the five different tubs, I'm just going enjoy them," she declared. 

Time drifted in soft, soothing, slow increments, each washing the other with finely nubbed cloth. The water became cloudy with dirt and the bubbles started deflating. Hunger and thirst eventually provided enough motivation to drive the two from the warm embrace of the water, but Darcy waved Loki to get in the second tub while she darted, naked and wet, dripping soapy puddles with each step, to the door.

She grabbed one of the trays that had been left at some point, the one with the sweaty carafes. One was definitely water, the other looked like it could possibly be wine. 

Kneeling she placed the tray carefully next to the towels and joined Loki in the second tub. He'd already sipped from the bottle of water and when he handed it over, she was pleased to find that it was still cold enough to be refreshing. The wine, as it turned out to be, was crisp and fruity. They passed the two bottles between them until they were both empty.

The wine went straight to her head, and judging by Loki's nearly silent, huffing laughter, at the stupid jokes she made about their time stranded naked on a deserted island ("Is it weird I want to wear all the clothes now?"), it went straight to his, as well. They attacked the fruit next, ravenously eating every single bit in mere minutes. 

Having even just a little food in their bellies made them realize exactly what position they'd ended up in, his arms around her, her back against his front, his burgeoning erection a tantalizing, increasing pressure against her ass.

Her nipples were extremely sensitive, but Loki seemed to know that, carefully plucking and caressing as if he had all the time in the world. Soon enough, he had her writhing, and that's when he let a hand drift down below the water to slide gentle fingertips against her labia. With patient, deliberate strokes he pressed patterns into her skin, drawing out her panting moans. 

When it was over they lay boneless in the warmth of the bath, until her fingers had pruned and her skin felt soft and jiggly as pudding. 

A healthy glow was all that was left of the horrid burns she'd ended up with after their disastrous adventure, almost like it didn't happen at all. Except she was still tired, and though Loki looked deliciously sun-kissed, she had no energy to back up the vague desire to climb him like a tree. Having apparently noticed her lethargy, he took pity on her and finished drying her off before he carried her back to bed.

* * *

The remainder of their vacation was blissfully free of adventures of any sort, the pair preferring to stick close to the amenities of the palace, like the bed, toilets and a variety of clothing that were very near by. It's a nice time, a safe time and she only felt like stabbing Thor once, when he'd picked her up and chucked her into the pool.

They end up spending all their time together, and it never once felt cloying or suffocating. She didn't want to go find a quiet corner away from him, perfectly content to have him sit next to her working on his research while she read another romance novel. 

It was on their very last day that Loki signed something unexpected while they were laying on the veranda overlooking the ocean. 

 _I love you_. 

And it didn't feel weird or awkward at all that she responded, "I love you, too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes indeed I did jack that chapter title from the incomparable Little Mermaid soundtrack, more specifically a little song called Under The Sea. Of course, I don't own it. Please don't tell D*sney about any of *this*.


	11. Favorite Place on Earth *IS* Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> August 12: Favorite place on earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A whopping three months late, which... when one considers my track record is not that bad, lol.

It was, perhaps, a bit dramatic to fall to her knees immediately upon landing, or rematerializing, or whatever Jane would call the phenomena of suddenly standing on earth, real Earth, but Darcy never shied from a bit of drama, and besides which, she figured she deserved it. Leaning forward, she planted a great smacking kiss on the burnt grass, just because. 

"Oh, am I happy to see you, my great, big, spinning ball of mud. You're my favorite. I know I have that thing with Pluto, but you have nothing to worry about. It's you, babe. It's always been you."

Thor and Jane only had eyes for each other, but Loki had seen the whole spectacle, and was grinning like he was charmed by her quirks. How far they'd come in just a few months, Darcy marveled as she stood back up and grabbed her bag. 

 _Should I be concerned?_ he asked, eyebrows arching upwards and green eyes going wide.

(She can't believe she ever thought he was emotionally flat, that he'd hid this expressiveness so well.)

Darcy couldn't help but smirk, "Absolutely."

It was probably totally weird that something about that exchange made them smile at each other; beaming, huge, stupid grins that neither seemed able to wipe off their faces. They'd be like Jane and Thor soon enough, if they weren't careful. A realization that they apparently came to at approximately the same time, judging by the way he attempted to clear his throat and look away. 

Side by side, the pair slowly made their way across the field to the parking area where they'd left Jane's car all those days ago. The newness of their declaration hadn't worn off, that was the problem. Because just thinking about it made her insides light up and a something mostly smug curve her lips, and she had it _bad_. 

There was a moment of panic, _because here on Earth it's real, like, for real_, but it faded in the space between one heartbeat and the the next. Darcy supposed that these all-encompassing feelings of bliss coupled with breathtaking anxiety was as it would be for the time being. 

She bumped him with her hip, slid a glance up at him, full of promise and secrets, and his reaction - a bit of a blush crawling up his neck - made her toes curl. 

"I'll see you soon, then?" Darcy asked him, after slinging her bag into the trunk. 

He nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. _Shit. Gone. She was absolutely gone._

"Ok," she cleared her throat and looked around for Jane and Thor. They were attached at the lips and completely focused on each other, which made it easier to just come out and say, "well, I'll see you later, and I, uhm, loveyou." She kissed him and got into the car. 

 _Love you, too_ , he signed, smiling softly, as he leaned on the roof and looked down at her. 

"Wait," Jane exclaimed, as she plopped into the drivers seat, "when did this happen?"

"Bye, Thor," she rolled down the window with vigorous pumps of the manual crank, ignoring Jane's query completely, "It's been real and it's been fun but it ain't been real fun. I'm never vacationing with you again!"

"Darcy! You wound me!" Thor clutched his chest and staggered away from the car. 

"Nah, I didn't. Have fun by yourselves next time. You don't have to worry about me any more."

Thor smiled, and why was everyone so damned smiley all the sudden? They were a bunch of fucking loved up idiots, the lot of them. 

"Be well, little lightning sister. I'll take care of this one for you until we next meet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you all how much your support has meant.
> 
> I mean who knew nap fantasies were a thing? And the lol's for the blisters? I guess you could say you inspired me to answer the question of what's better than a giant bathtub. (Like, *nine* ginormous bathtubs and a bottle of wine. And a bit of heavy petting.)
> 
> Anyway... thanks for indulging me and my insane wish fulfilment/fantasy fic, you glorious bastards. 
> 
> xoxox

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading!


End file.
